imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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