erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
its not stalking. its research.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
