Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
