He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
