the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
