highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
