Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
