Quick, to the slutcave!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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