What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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