Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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