there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
