But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
how can u be prego again
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
