he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
