i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Can I color on your dick again?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
