Barsexuality is the new black.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
