I'm lost and stupid without you.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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