I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
