Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
