eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
