i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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