Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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