You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Pappa wants mamma naked
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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