so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
