Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
