Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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