I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
