I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think i peed on brittanys purse
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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