Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
