totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
