i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
