angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize