you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
