My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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