Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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