Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
