I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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