I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
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