are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
