you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
