'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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