Dual....:-)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
