the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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