I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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