GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
