you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
