For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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