yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I want a musical about memes.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
