Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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