so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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