Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
