if you like me you must not know who I am
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize